A new year has begun. More importantly, an old one came to a silent, blissful halt resembled only in the final breathless seconds of a ferocious multi vehicle collision. At least no one had died, although a few of the participants will never be the same. My journey had brought me back to the same place I had embarked upon this year long learning curve, New York City.
Unlike the many previous nights of this holiday spent in overly excited crowds of drunkards and drunkees, the hyped up rich and the slowed down poor, practicing the arts of deceitfulness and false promises of change, myself of which being one of the larger contributors, this New Year's eve was quiet. No horns and glitter. No television and no lies. No booze and no adolescent attempts at party favors. It was spent in reflection.
During the proceeding holiday, I attended a catholic mass for the first time in many months. I spent 26 years religiously studying the faith's inner workings and had recently broken from participating on the sabbath. The mass was beautiful and came equipped with a miraculous display of the birth of Jesus told by the church's sunday school students. Finally the time came to receive communion. I remained seated. For the first time since I had uttered those magic words at first holy communion twenty years ago, I remained seated. Through the confused mutters from my family members, I remained seated. Why? Any educated, practicing catholic should know it was because I hadn't gone to confession prior to receiving the body of Christ. Why? Any educated human being would know it was because relief from my sins would not come from the outside, they would come from within. Plus I didn't want to draw a detailed map of all the horrible acts of selfishness I had done to some meditated sixty year old wearing a dress who was pretending he wasn't actually listening to those raunchy,filthy, perverted laundry lists of juicy gossip. I am fully aware that this is the catholic religion's way of promoting self reflection. I am arguing this action should be occurring every day. More importantly, every moment of every day.
As I reflect back on the events of this year, I cry though my hopes for the future remain high. As we the people enter into a new phase of our lives, so does our planet. We are both awakening. The transition into this new state of consciousness required a level of understanding neither had ever dreamt to be possible, yet it is. I was never one for new years resolutions, so instead I turn my cheek to the masses. Today I reflect on a year of difficulties so I cry. Tomorrow I awake to a new day. A new sun. A new opportunity. An opportunity that was paid for in blood of not just my own but of an entire generation of humanity.
I leave you all with words from the Buddhist practice of Right Speech from Thich Nhat Hanh's The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings and encourage all to think about this when interacting with others throughout the rest of this new year.
I love you.
"Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am determined to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy and hope. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain and will not criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I am determined to make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small."
